Christmas will have crippled the cash flow and nights out on the town are a distant memory, if hibernation is on the cards, we say throw a house party! The space is free, the drinks are cheap and the company is handpicked so it’s a whole lot hotter, plus there’s no one to throw you out for smoking or even sh*gging if that is your style.
People gotta know about your party if you want them to come! Whether you text, email, tweet, facebook or send pigeons, just send out the details, and make it short and snappy. No need for a burly bouncer on the night, just make sure you keep an eye on the front door once the party gets going. Gatecrashers can be the makers or breakers of the night; BarChick says the more the merrier, but if you spot Bob from the Block making a scene get some big boys to handle him.
IT’S YOUR ROUND
Even if the rule is BYO booze a good ol’ punch is what everyone likes to see when they come through the door. Try this wicked warming Whisky recipe that BarChick recently whipped up – 3 liters Dry Scrumpy Cider, 1 bottle 10yr old Somerset cider brandy, 500ml Cloudy apple juice, Large handful of stem ginger plus the following spices: 2 cinnamon sticks, 2 spoons of ground nutmeg, small handful cloves, a few black pepper corns and one vanilla pod… (although can be adapted to party thrower’s taste). Cook for 6 hours and serve in teacups with a dried apple slice floating on the top.
Whilst guests may come laden with spirits, bubbles and wines, the best bits are always forgotten – stock up on lemons, limes, and buy extra mixers as they tend to run out.
ICE ICE BABY
If you reckon your ice cube trays won’t be able to keep up with the demand, Eskimo Ice has got your back. From crushed ice to ice luges they deliver super-fast anywhere in London. Make sure the fridge is as empty as it can be (that chutney hanging tight at the back won’t be missed) as no one likes a warm beer. Leave the alphabet magnets, “Lily likes ass play” it will make you laugh if the cleaning’s a little tough the morning after.
If the freezer is tiny, then hit the bath, make it disco and line it with tin foil, chuck a load of cans in and load it with ice, you’ll have cold drinks all night….
Make sure that no one starts using the bowls/vases/milk cartons to drink from, or at least hold off the inevitable by supplying a lot of glasses. Have enough for your whole street and unbreakable ones, although ugly, they do the job (and lessen the clearing up). It’s a delight to drink from a glass as thin as your nail but they won’t last the night, a lot of really hardy glassware is BarChick’s advice. Plastic is for pussy’s, unless you have a shoes off policy, in which case be a pussy and use plastic.
ENCOURAGE THE MINGLING
Being a good host means more than keeping the peanuts topped up. You are the owner, the entertainer, the waiter and the music maker for the night! Parties are usually filled with a whole load of non-friends that need a good prompt. Everyone loves being introduced to a hot stranger- open with an interesting fact to get the conversation rolling like “BarChick this is George he’s into darts, and bestiality…” It will work a treat, if you don’t know them, make it up.
Sorting out the music for the night should be high up on the priority list. There will always be a friend of a friend with some decks and speakers and the ego rub from being asked to “DJ at my party?” is enough to make them do it. Failing this, have some playlists at the ready, the only downside is that these are inevitable prey for the party-killer-track-changers! The sound and speakers are pretty key to a good night, spend time on the music and party peeps will be dancing all night long.
Everyone loves/hates a theme so BarChick says go for it, added bonus are the entertaining pictures the following day, almost a hangover cure in themselves. Suggested themes from BarChick are “Come as a Cocktail”, (Porn star Martini, Hairy Virgin etc) as the list is endless. “What did you want to be as a kid” will always bring out some interesting outfits or “The world is about to end! Pick your last outfit ever…” As the host you must embrace this theme and have extra supplies, so those who don’t feel boring and adapt.
THE BEDROOM PARTIES
If at any point of the night you think everyone has moved on to another party, they haven’t. Take time out from dancing round the sitting room lamp and have a wander upstairs- here you will discover the bedroom parties, a favourite of BarChicks. The best ones will be in the rooms you double locked and your parent’s ensuite. Don’t freak out, these are the gems of the night. On entering each room your name will be shouted out with delight and you will be beckoned to join in on whatever deep convo/secret drink supply/orgy is going on. Eventually everyone should come down so make sure you make it up in time, partying in bedroom/cupboard/bathroom is a must.
In BarChick’s experience you have to wait a little for the games to commence. Sardines has gone down a storm in the past, this obviously depends on the size of the place but hysterics teamed with getting all snug with your fellow party goers is a classic! Although you last played Musical Chairs when you were about 5 yrs old, it’s the bomb: get a DJ on the music, get everyone dancing around and sort the chairs out. Pass the Parcel for grown ups, no need to get everyone sat down, just make sure the parcel is passed! Stick a different coloured condom between each layer and make the end present a bottle of drink, unless you are all married in which case it could get weird.
You can either chuck ‘em out or if they’re that far gone give them the number of Dial-a-drink or Knighthawk (depending on your area of town) to keep everyone fed and watered till dawn. Remember to stick a taxi number on the door, handy and helpful for the guests on their way out.
Last but not least enjoy your own house party! Only hosts who spend the night paranoid and tidying end up with damages. The mess can be dealt with in the morning, so can your head, have a dance on BarChick and party like it’s ya birthday.