Forget the haircut, the clothes they’re wearing and the body language: you can tell everything you want to know about a person by the drink they order. So if you want a shortcut to how the evening’s going to turn out, look no further:
Dirty martini – I have low self-esteem that can only be appeased by sex with a stranger.
Vodka soda – I have an eating disorder and will be crying over Galliano by 9pm.
Smirnoff ice – I have fake ID but you can snog me before my dad picks me up at midnight. Or a 35 year old who wears denim with denim and has a yo-yo.
Cosmopolitan – I am ageing, lack imagination and have watched too much SATC.
Fishbowl of Chardonnay – I cry during sex.
Whiskey and Coke- I’m a 15 year old boy who’s going to puke. Or a 45 year old who still wears Metallica t-shirts.
Mojito – I’m a splash of imagination short of a personality.
Pear Cider – I’m desperately trying to hold onto that festival feeling.
Negroni – Yes I hate the taste of it, but how cool am I? Go on, like me – pleaassee?!
Grey Goose on ice - I’ve got chlamydia
Baileys on ice – I still live with my parents.
Sex on the beach – I’m a ditsy blonde virgin, and surely boys will think I’m great in the sack if they see me sipping this, right?
A Pint in a Cocktail Bar – I’m very uneasy about my sexuality, I like beer football and TITS.
Stella Artois - I hate you, you and you, I’ll f**king do you if you look at me, but I love my mum.
Tray of Tequila shots – It’s my intention to not be able to stand, talk, walk or remember anything tonight. Apologies in advance.
French Martini – I want to be an international spy but I don’t like violence.
Bloody Mary –There isn’t a time of day that I wouldn’t rather be drinking.
Rum Straight – I’m trying to look hardcore, (or they’re a pirate).
White Russian – I think I’m sophisticated enough to drink cocktails, but I’m only sophisticated enough to choose the sweet ones.
If we’ve missed any or if you think any of these are inaccurate then contact us, we’d love to hear your input!
